Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Begining Of The End

Before we begin let me say that this is not another weight loss blog. While I am the heaviest I have ever been and have decided to do something about it, I will not be writing about diet plans or exercise programs or any of that boring junk. To me, exercise is work and work is boring. Besides, who wants to read about how good water is for the body or why complex carbs are better than… yawn. If you are looking for weight loss tips, this isn’t the place to find them. Now with that out of the way…

The last time I weighed myself I was only five pounds shy of hitting three hundred. I spend the majority of my time sitting in front of a computer writing and editing information for products and advertisements or playing World of Warcraft. Disregarding my college kickball team (which was only a group of friends playing for fun), I haven’t participated in any kind of athletic activity since my freshman gym teacher held detention over my head if I refused to run laps. Every article I’ve read or podcast that I’ve listened to says that a man of my current status is in no condition for participating in a triathlon. In fact, the majority of them consider it to be a ridiculously impossible task and anybody who would forge ahead is incredibly stupid for putting themselves in such a situation due to the potential damage that can be done to their body. Still, here I am ready to throw myself head-first into something that I know little about and am not even quite sure I can handle.

Why? The simple answer to that question, because I should be able to. While I have refrained from doing any kind of physical activity for the majority of my life, a twenty-six year old should still be able to complete such an endeavor. Notice that I did not say compete, but simply complete, finish, be able to last through, not die because of. So from now until August 8th I will be discussing my “training” as I get ready to run my first triathlon. Updates after August 8th are dependent upon my ability to still function.


  1. You're a failure and I will run back just to pee on your corpse after you collapse mid-run...

    Jake = Weaksauce

  2. Ahh, just kidding...

    We can do this and we will do this. It won't be fast and it won't be pretty, but it will happen. Just have to keep training for it. Remember, every day of training will be an extra point in our favor in the Live vs. Die contest. Then, once we've trained enough in each individual event, we can try running Bricks like Alex suggested...maybe even do a few full events just to prove we can do it...

    That'll take the fear of death out of us and we can concentrate on pushing a little harded in the actual race...

  3. August 8th of this year? Wow! I think you can do it!

  4. Hell man...I walked the mini a while back - if my lard butt can do that, you can get through this!! Besides, your just a pup - plenty of time to screw up your system.