A Very Special Fat Friday: 8-7-09

I apologize for the lack of updates over the past two days. Again, it goes back to finding that good balance thing… but let’s not talk about the past. It’s Friday and that means that we get to see just how much progress I have made in a week.


Another .4 pounds down, which means that I am only 2.6 pounds from hitting the only goal that I have ever set for myself. As I am the constant procrastinator, taking a month to accomplish a goal isn’t all that bad. In fact if I ever do get down to 285 it will probably take me another month just to set my next goal.

Of course a picture of a scale and some blithering about how fat I am isn’t why you all come to visit every Friday and today is even more special than most. I mentioned some time back that I would let you all see the tri-shorts that I picked up for tomorrow’s race and I figured what better way to show them off than to showcase them here on the weekly weight in. So, without further stalling…


Man do I look good in those shorts! One would think that they would be constrictive and binding, but they are the most comfortable things I have worn in ages. In fact, if my work didn’t have a strict dress code against them, I would wear these babies with a shirt and a tie every day… the shirt would be tucked in of course.

I know that it’s difficult to see if there have been any changes from the first time that I displayed my Adonis-esque body to the world, so since today is the last Friday before the triathlon I went ahead and slapped this comparison together. Before you take a look, realize that the front view looks almost exactly the same… but you can definitely tell a difference from the side.


It is amazing that I have only lost three pounds from the first time I started Fat Friday and my stomach is significantly smaller. I know that one can argue that I have probably gained muscle mass since I have started working out, but I don’t think that I have gained enough to make is so that three pounds is all I have lost. The truth is that even though I am working out and trying to eat better I still sneak off to Penn Station for a medium Philly with a large fresh cut fries and fresh squeezed lemonade. So only losing three pounds seems very reasonable to me.

In triathlon news, this came to my email yesterday:
We will be swimming! Based on the overwhelming comments from participants, we will be holding the swim portion with a few added precautions made due to the warning issued by the Department of Health regarding blue/green algae. We will have hoses available for rinsing after the swim portion if you choose and the pool house showers will be available after the race. Please consider that the hoses can only rinse so many people at a time and there are limited number of showers in the pool house. We will have close to a full field of 400 on race day so if you choose to use the hose or showers, please be patient.

Woo-Hoo! I won’t have to run twice! This was the best news I have gotten in a long time. Also, for those of you wondering, I have no intention of stopping at the hoses to wash off before I hit the bike portion of the race. My body hair creates a rather protective barrier for my skin and I will more than likely sweat enough to clean anything stuck to my body off, so I see no need to stop and hose down.

Tomorrow is the big day! After all this talk and hype and haphazard training the big day has finally arrived. Since I did the mock triathlon last weekend I know that this race can be conquered. The real question is: How fast can I finish it? I am not looking to kill myself over an event that I am only trying to finish, but I do want to complete this thing as fast as I possibly can. Thank you all for your support thus far. It has been fun sharing this event in my life with you all. Come back Monday for the full results and hopefully a slew of pictures that document the big day.

Only 1 day left.
Current weather forecast: Partly Cloudy with a High of 90

To Be Young Again...

Recently some old photos of myself have been surfacing. These pictures feature a much younger and skinnier version of me than what this blog has been presenting. To give you an idea of where I have come from, for your consideration I present to you…


Who’s that dude? During high school I always saw myself as overweight and fairly unattractive. But looking at this picture makes me realize that I was only a fashion makeover away from being in an N’Sync cover band. Look at that sexy guy oddly holding a Magna Doodle for some unknown reason. However, while skinny Jake is most definitely a positive of this picture, the absolute best aspect is my good friend Shane who even though was a year younger than I could already grow some seriously manly facial hair. Well played old man… well played.

So now you can see one of the major catalysts for losing weight. To help you better understand where I am coming from I have made this side by side comparison.


Wow… I think I just depressed myself even more than the first time I looked at that picture. Most people gain the dreaded “Freshman Fifteen” after high school. As always I went above and beyond the norm and packed on the Freshman Fifty… and then another fifty for good measure. However, while this skinny kid is well under a hundred pounds lighter than I am now, at least I’m… I now have… I’ve now got… I’m going to… Nope. I got nothing. I would absolutely love to be back at that weight again. Here’s to dreaming.

Only 4 days left.
Current weather forecast: High of 87 with a 30% chance of thunder storms

Tri Trial Complete

The mock triathlon was a success! And by success I mean that I didn’t die. In fact, I had actually set up the overall course to be slightly more than the actual race just so I made sure my body could handle it all, which I now know I can. I didn't take any pictures this time through as I am waiting for the actual event to do so.

Yesterday we headed over to my father in-law’s house to begin the swim portion of the course. This is where I got to try out my brand spankin’ new Tri-Shorts. They are as tight as a Speedo but breath as if you were wearing nothing at all… very sexy. These babies stayed snug and secure for all three legs of the course.

Since I had decided that I was going to swim a greater distance than what was required, I went ahead and shot for thirty laps as Gary had informed me previously that our sixteen laps was incorrect and we actually needed twenty-eight. It wasn’t until after I had completed the entire course that my idea of laps consisted of down and back equaling one while his was a simple one end to the other… meaning I did almost double of what I was supposed to do.

The thirty laps took me about a minute each and even after doing double the amount needed I wasn’t tired… this might have to do with the fact that one-fourth of the laps were done using the backstroke and that my fatty cushion gives me natural buoyancy, but let’s move onto the bike ride.

After I completed my laps I hopped on to my trusty Huffy Black Water that had two water bottles up front in the basket to help keep me hydrated and set off on the course I had laid out wearing only my Tri-Shorts and brand new running shoes. I did modify the bike course slightly to add an extra mile in the overall length.


It wasn’t until I turned onto the first main road that I remembered it was Sunday morning. As I rode through the streets in all my topless glory that you have been privilege to seeing every Friday, I began passing churches that were either getting ready to start service or were just getting out. While at first I thought it would be awkward the fact that Christians are loving and supportive people soon came back to me and nothing compares to the support I received from the little old ladies that were standing outside. Riding by I would hear them say such things as, “Dear Lord”, “My God” and “Oh Jesus” which I can only assume was the beginning to their prayers asking the almighty to watch over this stud of a man as he traveled on his journey.

The overall bike ride was about eleven miles long and I completed the entire route in forty-five minutes. I probably would have done better if I didn’t have to stop at every light and intersection, though it also wouldn’t have hurt if I didn't coast down every hill and slow down every time I would ride through shade. As soon as I got back to my father in-law’s house I took off on my run.

The run started off as a slow jog so that I could regain my balance after being on the bike for so long. I have heard some hilarious stories of tri-athletes face planting themselves as they transition from the bike to the run and don't get their balance correct. As soon as I knew that I was good to go, I maintained my pace and it only slowed further from there. By the time I had gotten out of the subdivision and back onto the main streets my feeble jog had turned into some half-hearted power walk. I knew from the start that the run portion would be my biggest hurdle, but I did not know that my legs would be so tight that if I even tried to run everything just tensed up and made it impossible to move… so my three mile run turned into a three mile walk which took me about an hour to complete.

My overall tri-time was two and a half hours. Gary looked up the time of the person who came in last place at Cicero last year and it was two hours and fifteen minutes. Needless to say, I really don’t care as I am simply only wanting to complete the course this year. Also needless to say, I am tired and sore. Sorry for the lengthy update today, but I wanted to share the overall experience with you. I will be keeping you up to date this week as we countdown to the big day this Saturday.

Only 5 days left.
Current weather forecast: High of 84 with a 30% chance of thunder storms

Fat Friday: 7-31-09

Another Friday, another time to jump on the scale and see just how fat is Fritz. A friend of mine told me that the weights I have been posting aren’t exactly accurate since I am fully dressed every time that I measure my weight. I get strange enough looks from the shipping department when I hop up on their pallet scale with my clothes on… But let’s move on to the weigh in shall we?


Woo-hoo! I dropped a whole 1.6 lbs. this week which is still three pounds shy of the first goal I set over twenty-one days ago. As you can see I am really barreling through those pounds to hit that goal. With that said, Steph still thinks that I have been slimming down but I still maintain my stance about her being my wife and having to be a positive motivation for me. Take a look for yourself.


So with only one week left before the big day I have lost a total of 2.6 lbs. in less than a month. With all sincerity, that is awful. Of course it doesn’t help that I eat three hot dogs on pretzel buns covered in chili and cheese sauce for lunch or the fact that I have only had maybe two or three legitimate workout sessions for the past week and a half either. No matter how you look at it, the final day is coming and I will have to go through with it no matter how much I weigh.

Speaking of the Cicero triathlon, I got a message in my email yesterday giving me some interesting information about the upcoming event. Below is a portion of what I received.

Blue/Green Algae: As some of you have heard by now, the Indiana Department of Health has issued a warning about blue/green algae (it sounds pretty, doesn't it?) for Geist Reservoir and Morse Reservoir. I have attached the Press Release. I am awaiting word from the IDOH specifically how this may impact the Triathlon. In the meantime, we are proceeding with having a swim portion of the triathlon. I am working on getting hoses available for anyone who wants to rinse off after exiting the lake. The showers in the pool house will be available as well. If we must cancel the swim portion, we do have a plan in place to change to a run-bike-run event. We hope we do not have to take that action, but wanted you to know that we are prepared.

My first reaction went something like this, “A RUN-BIKE-RUN! HOW DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THAT RUNNING IS EQUIVALENT TO SWIMMING? THE SWIM AND THE BIKE ARE THE TWO THINGS THAT I KNOW I CAN DO! I CAN BARELY WALK THREE MILES! HOW CAN THEY ADD MORE?”

I then looked up the press release that was attached and read exactly what this algae does to a person. Apparently if it comes in contact with your skin you get some rash and if you swallow it then you can get some pretty serious gastrointestinal illness. Rashes can be cured with skin ointments and rubs and anybody who has had the pleasure of being the next in line after me at a public restroom will tell you that I’ve already got some gastrointestinal problems. Hopefully they continue on with the swim and don’t make us run the distance because I don’t know if I could handle that right now.

On another note, the national weather service is predicting a warm day with an eighty degree high with scattered thunder storms for race day. WONDERFUL! First algae and now storms. Lucky for me this is Indiana and the weather changes constantly… not to mention that meteorologists are almost always wrong when trying to predict weather that far in advance, especially in the Midwest. Only one week left to go!

Tri-n' It Out

After much deliberation, I have decided that this Sunday I am going to run a mock triathlon. This will allow me to not only see if I can survive such an ordeal, but provide me with a relative time frame for completing the actual event as well. Also it allows me to gauge just how horribly I will perform so I can prepare for the public humiliation I have set myself up to receive.

In preparation for this run I have set equivalent distances to the actual triathlon with a 10.4 mile bike route and a 3.2 mile running… jogging, probably walking route that centers around our current residence and my father in-law’s house since that is where I will be doing the swimming portion (16 full laps = 200 yards).


Knowing how long it takes me to complete a route that is comparable to the Cicero triathlon will give me an idea of what to expect when I run the real thing and it will help set a goal for the big day. My hope is that if I simply just set a goal of a time that I want to beat that I won’t get caught up in trying to race the other participants and in the process make an even bigger fool of myself. Also, I have been told that you shouldn’t push yourself too hard the week before a competition, so Sunday will be my final big push with the rest of the week being simple runs, bikes or swims to keep me on my toes… that is if I am still able to function afterword.

Tomorrow is Fat Friday and I can tell you that it will be very similar to last Friday. As I came into work this morning the scale read the exact same thing as it did before. Of course I know that those topless pictures will keep you coming back for more no matter what the weight change might be.

Work vs. Updates vs. Moving vs. Training

I apologize for the late post today. We’ve been getting in huge shipments of motorcycle lifts and chocks at work over the past couple of days and unloading them from the containers is a long and strenuous process. To give you an idea of just how exhausting of a job it is, yesterday we had two chains of guys unloading over 2,000 pieces of equipment that weigh twenty pounds each by hand for a little over an hour straight. Now only do your arms get sore from constantly lifting, but the inside of the container is nothing more than a hot box that causes you to sweat twice as bad as you normally would. This is an event that happens usually twice a year and leaves me looking something like this.


Look at that nastiness. It’s hard to go back to your desk job after you are covered in sweat and dirt let alone try to knock out a blog update. That picture was obviously taken after a previous unloading as I am no longer rockin’ the fu man chu style beard. Every now and then I like to mix up the facial hair and I personally think that the fu man chu helps me look like I know a little something about motorcycles (even though I know next to nothing). Here is another one of myself down in Daytona Beach for Bike Week.


While I do cover myself in sweat and put strain on muscles that I hardly ever use, unloading these huge containers is no replacement for actual training and exercise. Unfortunately I have only been able to get to the gym once so far this week and was only there for a half an hour as it was already 10:30 at night and I was already exhausted from working on the new house. We are hoping to be completely moved in by this Saturday, so I should be able to get back to a more rigid training schedule after then… though I will only have a week left by that point in time.

That's What Friends Are For

Running a triathlon is not an idea that I would come up with on my own. The first time that it was brought to my attention was last year when my father worked as a volunteer at the Cicero Triathlon and saw my good friend Alex competing. My father then joked about the two of us training to compete the following year and I replied by saying that there was no way I would be able to do such an event.

The second time that the idea was floated my way was when I was getting together with two of my best friends, one of them being Alex, to simply catch up and see how our lives have been. Alex has always been an athlete and participates in events such as the Indianapolis Mini Marathon, so in passing I brought up the Cicero Triathlon and asked how his training was going for this year. After that things get blurry.

Alex had somehow convinced both Gary and me to participate in the event along with him this year even though it was a little over two months away and we had never done anything such as this before. Being a swimmer in high school, Gary had persuaded me that the swimming portion would be a piece of cake and that the only real hurdle would be the three mile run at the end of the event. So by the end of the night, we are all in for an experience I am sure we will never forget.

Above I posted a picture of the three of us, from left to right Gary, myself and Alex. It isn’t the best picture as it was taken at my bachelor party probably thirty minutes before everything went black and there is severe memory loss for the rest of that night.

These two have been very gung-ho about participating in the triathlon while my other friends have reacted slightly more realistically to my announcement. It’s not that the others doubt my desire to complete the event, but when a guy does little to no physical activity for the majority of his life it is reasonable to doubt in my ability to do so. I know that they are simply worried about my overall health and would prefer for me to be alive seeing that a dead guy doesn’t make for a very good friend. But surprisingly I haven’t come across any people that are completely unsupportive about the idea.

Obviously this blog was meant to be a humorous approach to the fact that an obese man such as myself would attempt such an event. But I have to say that the overwhelming support I have received from my friend and family has meant an awful lot to me. Only eleven more days to go.